Communication - Who fault is it?

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Communication - effective communication skills are essential for all success in your personal life and your professional life–all across the board. Communication! It sounds simple enough. One person speaks and the other listens. It is that simple as long as you follow the 2 key rules. To speak, you must take responsibility for every word that you say. And to listen, you must listen with understanding and empathy.

 

A father said, “I can’t understand my daughter, she won’t listen to me!” Can you guess what is wrong with this father and daughter’s communication? He said, “I can’t understand my daughter, she won’t listen to me!” The father is not listening to his daughter. Of course he can’t understand his daughter, he doesn’t want to listen to her. He wants her to listen to him. How does he expect to understand her if he is not willing to do the listening?

 

Tammi worked at a retail store and her manager told her, “We are having a contest this weekend with the Credit Card Applications. The sales person who hands out the most Credit Card applications to customers will get $1.00 for every application.” Tammi went to town, she handed out 300 applications in 2 days. Tammi handed out the most applications, but the Manager said that she didn’t get any customers to actually apply for the Credit Card. Therefore, Tammi did not win. On top of everything, the manager was upset with Tammi because she used up all of the applications in the department. The Manager felt Tammi misunderstood her, and said, “What’s the point in having sales people just hand out Credit Card Applications without asking the customer to actually apply for the Credit Card! It is a given and Tammi should know better. It is Tammi’s fault.”

 

What do you think? If the manager understood rule #2 she would know it was her responsibility to speak accurately. It was her job to make sure Tammi understood what she was saying. After all, the manager was the one doing the talking. And when you talk, you take responsibility for your words.

 

In addition to the 2 basic rules, if you can add one more skill, “Seek to understand before being understood!” you will become a much more effective communicator. People want to be understood. Once they feel they are understood, they let their guard down and are much more likely to listen to what you have to say. So always say to them, “Let me understand what you need, then I would like you to understand what I need.”

 

Giovanna Garcia